Sunday, April 17, 2011

Toronto Smoking Law Takes Down Vatican Assassin Warlock

File under "So you think that's his real problem, do you?": In advance of his Self-Delusion Continental Tour, which hit Toronto's Massey Hall at the end of last week, Ontario Health Promotion Minister Margarett Best offered to help Sheen give up smoking...or at least call the hotline. New Democrat France GĂ©linas was one of several opposition politicians who snickered at the offer, saying hell no, you can't use our anti-smoking hotline if you don't even live here. It may be a cunning plan, since recent experience has told us that ordering Charlie around is a great way to get him to do the opposite.

Ontario has strict laws about smoking in enclosed public spaces, although whether Sheen got a warning or a ticket would've depended on whether the enforcing officer wanted to pick a fight with a warlock. It turned out to be a moot point, because when Thursday rolled around Sheen spent the show puffing on a fake cig that emitted water vapor, saving the genuine article for the fire escape before and after the show. Like a common dog, I tell ya!

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