Friday, April 08, 2011

Introducing The Scrounger's Cheapjack Mystery Movie!

Okay, let's say for the sake of argument that your epic "Friday" post was a huge hit, and your "only known picture of Charlie Sheen's Magic Tray" is a solid draw as well. So what's a guy supposed to do for an encore? First answer: Set a tree on fire and push it into the road! Don't tell the neighbors...they'll figure it out on their own very quickly. However, after my meds kicked in (and I figure out that pushing around a full-grown flaming tree by yourself is really, really hard), I came up with a proper answer: just keep it moving, buddy.

For our purposes, here's the current definition of "just keep it moving": after the Christmas "classics" marathon went over so well, I stumbled across another DVD goody box made by Mill Creek Entertainment, which (as I may have mentioned before) is the spiritual successor to the faceless companies who planted $3 VHS tapes of ancient movies in drugstores and K-Marts across the country during the 1980s. You'll also recall that what makes them really stand out in the bottom-feeder market is sheer quantity. The beloved-by-me Holiday TV Classics set aside, they're also responsible for the legendary-to-some-of-us Giant 600 Cartoon Collection and a number of 20, 50, and 100-film/TV show bundles, massive bargain-priced compilations that serve as a reminder of how low manufacturing costs have on factory-pressed DVDs when you don't have to pay through the nose for content.

And that's the box in question: 50 Mystery Classics. If some of these titles sound familiar, that's because other more popular web people (ones less likely to think about flaming trees) have wrestled with its big brother, the version with 100 movies, or its steroid-popping uncle with 250 movies. There's a good chance you've walked through part of this collection before, but not with me, and that's why we're banking on this being a worthwhile time-killer...also because the Internet is not the Internet if you can't run a good thing into the ground at lightning speed. As to why I didn't go with the full 100 or the mind-choking 250...hey, 50 was what they had on sale. Scroungers gotta scrounge, bubba.

Like the Christmas stunt, we'll be following an informal template to help us process it all. Unlike the Christmas stunt, there's no holiday deadline breathing down our necks, no clock to beat. I will reach number 50 when I reach number 50. Due to the frequent collapse of my Protestant worth ethic, that makes the chance of bailing out much more likely. So it's an adventure!

So here's the awesome announcement: Stay tuned for THE SCROUNGER'S CHEAPJACK MYSTERY MOVIE! Starting this weekend! (or sometime thereafter, because I told you people I suck at deadlines...)

(Don't get your hopes up, none of these shows are actually in it.)

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