Friday, November 26, 2010

Scrounger's Cheapjack Christmas Status Update

Our Holiday Lesson For Today: I started this dumb stunt waaaaay too soon.

(Eric puts on his "smarty hat", turns on the light bulb.)

Good evening, minions.

Yesterday I finally sat down to do the math and found out that at the rate of two a day, we'll run out of the $5 Christmas TV box a long time before we run out of Christmas. To make sure that doesn't happen, I have scientifically devised a schedule to maximize your holiday aggravation with strangers who write this type of garbage on a more predictable basis. To make sure this whole silly thing wraps up on December 24th--and not a week earlier--on some days (like today, for example) there will only be one Scrounger's Cheapjack Christmas to entertain the random stragglers that apparently make up my core audience, some days two, and on Sundays you will be left alone to make your own kind of fun. Maybe I'll fill the space with a stupid low-content video post. Maybe I'll juggle.

This does not discount my earlier theory that I'll get distracted by a shiny red ball at some point in the holiday season and blow off a whole week chasing it down the road like an overgrown manchild with deep-rooted maturity issues. When it happens it'll become obvious in a day or so, and everything will be adjusted accordingly once I figure out that no, it's not my ball and that woman's baby will not stop crying until I give it back.

Thank you for your understanding. You are dismissed.

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