Saturday, November 27, 2010

The Scrounger’s Cheapjack Christmas Special! #14: The Beverly Hillbillies pt. 2

Feel what you like about international politics, but no matter what happens between the Koreas this week, at least yesterday we could say we got even with turkey. *rimshot* And now back to our weekend with the Clampetts!

The Christmas Episode: “Christmas At The Clampetts” (the label calls it “Christmas With The Clampetts”, but the Internet begs to differ). Original Broadcast: December 25, 1963.

Well doggies, it’s Christmas time in Beverly Hills! With a big ol’ Beverly Hills Christmas tree with big ol’ mounds of fake snow piled around it! Also, real presents.

The presents are from Miss Jane and Mr. Drysdale, but all of Drysdale’s presents are really a scam to keep the Clampetts tethered to California by getting Jed hooked on deep-sea fishing. But oh, them hillbillies…

Mr. Drysdale got Jethro “a suit of clothes”…

Waterproof, too.

Granny got “one of them e-lectric washing machines”…with a clothes dryin’ rack, even!

Yes, a TV. And every channel apparently bribed to show the Pacific all day…

Elly also got “a fancy rain hat” from Miss Jane (really an old-style hair dryer—or as they called them back then, a hair dryer), which makes Granny a bit suspicious that California isn’t as rain-free as the family was led to believe. Jed says that’s just nonsense, but when he opens the door…

Welllll doggies, somebody done sailed a boat up the driveway in the middle of the night! Shave and a haircut, two bits. Commercial.

Of course, the boat is supposed to be Drysdale’s masterstroke, and to seal the deal, he included another Elly gift: a chimp dressed like a tiny sailor…which (oh, them hillbillies!) the Clampetts mistake for a tiny sailor.

Skipper would become a regular member of Elly’s menagerie, and in his first appearance he already makes himself right at home by out-Jethroing Jethro.

Quick quiz: which one is the monkey? The answer may surprise you...

Like every other episode of the series, this is what puts the “light” in “light entertainment”. It’s nothing that's going to blow your tiny mind or redefine the genre, but it’s nothing for which you need sixteen pages of continuity notes to get all the nuances, either. Just the type of inconsequential chuckles for your post-Turkey Day comedown: you’re in, you’re out, and there’s over 200 more just like it if it tickles your fancy. Y’all come back now, hear?

Our Holiday Lesson For Today: If you marry Jed Clampett, he’ll bend you over his knee if you step out of line. And not in the fun way, either. Welcome to the sitcom 1960s, everybody.

Wait, what's that tacked onto the end of the show?

VIACOM LOGO OF DOOM! AUUGH! Whatever I did, I won't do it again!

But Don’t Take My Word For It: Youtube, take us away… (Note: the cheapjack DVD does not include the cigarette ads)

Next: The Clampetts go home for the holidays!

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