Saturday, May 31, 2008

I Will Not Be Ashamed...YOU, On The Other Hand...

This blog is not, not, NOT brought to you by Amp Energy, apparently the energy drink of anonymous sex and one-night stands. Huge market, that, and obviously a very reckless demographic, so that's a bonus. Maybe if you save enough cans, you can redeem them for a box Lifestyles. Or a voucher for a penicillin shot. I don't care anymore. This ad's your problem now. It's no TMBG for Dunkin' Doughnuts Iced Coffee, that's for sure. At least that's a product I can get behind.

Oh, for those of you who keep track of such nonsense, this is the long version of the ad.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Benediction For Memorial Day Weekend, 2008

Gee, here's something I don't do as much as I wish I did, but here's a great post from one of the comedy gods, whether he ever does any stagework again or not, Tom Lehrer:
Speaking of love, one problem that recurs more and more frequently these days, in books and plays and movies, is the inability of people to communicate with the people they love: husbands and wives who can't communicate, children who can't communicate with their parents, and so on. And the characters in these books and plays and so on, and in real life, I might add, spend hours bemoaning the fact that they can't communicate. I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very least he can do is to shut up.
Amen, and amen.

Weezer "Pork and Beans"

Hey gang, it's a new Weezer song! Hey gang, it's a music video loaded with YouTube "superstars"! Because reading is for chumps!

I don't know all of the viral video people featured here, which I view as a good thing, but I know most of them, which I view as a bad thing. They couldn't jawbone the Star Wars kid into it, I see...

The album drops on June 3rd! See you in HELL on the Intertubes, gang! Oh, and go to The 1899 Project, which has nothing to do with anything I just wrote or posted!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

The Art Of The Deal (or No Deal)

We were talking a few days ago--well, not here, but somewhere--about Bush's itinerary last week. See if you can follow our train of logic here.

Last week, Bush kicked off a busman's tour of the Middle East by celebrating the anniversary of Israel with a speech to the Knesset that pissed off the Muslim world...again. Our media was busy concentrating on the part that pissed off Obama, so Americans can be forgiven for tuning out boilerplate "Israel and America are like tight like that" talk, and that he barely mentioned the Palestinians at all. But wait, there's more...

After that--after that, mind you--Bush went hat in hand to King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia--a charter member of the Arab League, which (to unavoidably oversimpify things) wants a square deal for Palestinians...oh, and they're still Muslim enough that they make you leave your Bibles at the airport, but that's the way they run their house, and that's what you have to work with. Bush's goal was to try and "jawbone" oil prices down for the second time this year, and surprise, surprise, the King just didn't see it his way.

When you have as much free time as I do, you can twist anything into a straight line, but really, are we connecting dots that aren't there? Has all this "WHAT DID CHAMBERLAIN DO?" talk finally snapped our fragile little minds into five easy pieces? I leave that as an exercise to the reader.

Friday, May 16, 2008


This instant classic clip from Thursday night's Hardball with Chris Matthews makes me proud that I don't listen to talk radio.

(There's a highlight reel available if you can't tough out the whole segment, by the way...)

Apart from the blatantly obvious (that media bottom-feeders are incapable of answering a straight question with a direct answer), KRLA's Kevin James seems to have a case of what cartoon fans call "cigar mouth". It makes him look (and don't take this the wrong way) like a stroke victim...probably because one side of his face doesn't want any part of what's coming out of the rest of it.

The moral of this exercise is the same as it ever was: in a battle of wits, make sure you're properly armed before entering the arena.

Edit @ 2:00pm: ...and while I've got your attention, here's what Chamberlain did

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Again With The Link Sausages

Y'know, Hillary not bowing to the inevitable makes me wanna watch cartoons...

  • Again through Cartoon Brew, here's the Journal of Cartoon Over-analyzations. The type of geekgasm bloggy goodness that I dig the hell out small doses.
  • And finally, my new what-the-hell project, the 1899 Project, is ready to roll. Enjoy a hard-hearted laugh at my expense as what passed for "light reading" at the end of the 19th century drives me slowly insane. You can even pick the first book for me. G'wan. I dare ya.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Easley For Hillary

Color me surprised when this flyer arrived in the mail today. I didn't even know the post of "Hillary" was open this year. If he wins, does that mean he'll have to marry Bill Clinton?