Monday, December 31, 2007

Four Little Words To Screw Up 2008 In Advance

Hello Kitty for men.

Will this work in Japan? Maybe. American guys are another matter, and to explain this, let me walk you through a scenario...like a lot of Internet comedy hacks, I'll start by asking you to picture Chuck Norris in his 1980s action hero prime. While stomping through some Eastern European wilderness, playing a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse with some Soviet-looking soldiers who have a foul sense of humor, he violently relieves one of his fully-loaded machine gun. The problem: it's covered in glitter and puffy stickers with googly eyes.

Do you think Chuck wants to use this as his engine of destruction? Hell no, but he will because dammit, he's a pro. The thing is just before he decks the first guy with the butt of that gun in close quarters combat, the guy will catch a glimpse of the glitter and puffy stickers and he'll giggle. And that will ruin the moment for both of them...especially since Chuck'll hit the guy twice as hard for pissing him off.

The moral of this indecipherable story: there are certain things you don't want to think about while being a guy, and one of them is the implications of having a kawaii cartoon cat with a bow in her hair on your shirt.

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