Friday, February 16, 2007

Welcome To Jack Bauer Career Options Theater!

Once again, I post this for one of my partners because he can't hear me lalalalalala...

The conversation in Wednesday night's chat made its way to Bob Barker's retirement (again), but as usual, it doesn't take much to send these people off into their own little world.

EasyEW: When is Bob Barker leaving again?
KelvinNYC: August, I think.
EasyEW: That'll be a day to save
KelvinNYC: I'm sure Howie Mandel has already been approached to do the show since TV execs can't see beyond current game show hosts for another game show.
EasyEW: aw nononono
EasyEW: Howie's just not a good fit
KelvinNYC: or John McEnroe
EasyEW: STOP IT
Ska: $800 FOR A TOASTER
EasyEW: that just HURTS
Ska: ARE YOU SERIOUS
Ska: YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS
KelvinNYC: LET'S PLAY... GOLD CASE!
EasyEW: hahaha
KelvinNYC: That one!
KelvinNYC: btw... Mountain Climber is easy as f**k to win
KelvinNYC: 20-30-40
Ska: I dunno, now I really want McEnroe to host
KelvinNYC: and bam, you've won
KelvinNYC: Ten Chances, hosted by Mac would rule.
Ska: or Jack Bauer
KelvinNYC: Toaster: 4 2 0
Ska: TELL ME HOW MUCH THE CAR IS
Ska: TELL ME!
Ska shoots contestant in knee
Contestant: I DON'T KNOW
Contestant: PLEASE STOP
JackBauer: WRONG ANSWER
JackBauer pulls cord out from $28 floor lamp
JackBauer walks menacingly toward contestant
Contestant: NO
Contestant: NO
Contestant: 24,580
JackBauer: ...
JackBauer: That's what the Chinese told you to say.
Contestant: NO... I SWEAR IT'S NOT
Contestant: PLEASE... I HAVE A FAMILY
JackBauer pulls back the $24,580 card
JackBauer: ...
JackBauer: AND THEY WERE RIGHT!
JackBauer: CONGRATULATIONS, ENJOY YOUR NEW CONVERTIBLE!
Contestant: THANK YOU JACK!!!
Contestant: WHOOO
Contestant: *HUGS*
JackBauer: Oh, it's rigged with a tactical nuke set to go off in 45 seconds.
Contestant runs off
Contestant: wait, what?
DigitalTimer: BEEP
DigitalTimer: BEEP
DigitalTimer: BEEP
DigitalTimer: BEEP
Contestant: YOU SONOFA
DigitalTimer: BEEP
Ska takes a bow
KelvinNYC: and scene

And yes, we talk in stage directions. Doesn't everybody?

(And while we're on the topic of roleplaying, here's a long overdue plug for Testicles Chowdhury...most peculiar, but it's best to keep the weird ones where you can see 'em, so of course we do.)

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