Saturday, January 06, 2007

GIVE THE BABY THE GAVEL, MADAM SPEAKER!

All eyes were on Capitol Hill yesterday, with the Democrat revolution (or would that be counter-revolution?) signed and sealed, and yet, I'm somewhat flustered by what I saw. The picture to the left is a symbol of the promise of the future, in that almost every young person you see in this picture got to hold or touch the speaker's gavel, a prime symbol of that august office. I believe the grandkid who is holding the gavel in this picture even got to play with the microphone on several occasions. The "almost" is the thing which worries the hell out of me: the baby got nothin'! Just look at it down there in the left corner! It didn't get to touch the gavel! It didn't get a special jumper for the occasion! It's not even facing the right way to be in the picture!

COME ON, SPEAKER PELOSI! DON'T BE AGEIST! LET THE BABY HAVE THE GAVEL FOR A MOMENT! I think that babies are loads of fun, so I hope you all take this request in the spirit it's intended. Besides being a signifier of a high office, the House gavel--or any gavel, for that matter--does two things that babies love: it makes noise and has a narrow end that will fit up their tiny noses. It'll be a grand day out for baby, it'll give the press a page one picture, and if something goes wrong...well, there's a physician on call during sessions. All your bases are covered!

I have to assume that at no time during the reading of this blog in these past several months did anyone anticipate I'd spend a whole entry gibbering about babies and gavels, but dammit, it's a new day in America. We must take brave steps to heal the country.

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