Since obviously Matt won't do this for himself, I hereby let his Mark Foley joke serve notice that the list of humor that's beneath us is a short one:
Why do librarians hate Mark Foley?
He's always bending over the pages.
And if that's not bad enough, here's one of mine:
Why is Mark Foley's wine cellar so pitiful?
Because he'd never put his mouth on anything over 18 years old.
Okay, now it's your turn. And remember, I'm not doing this just because I'm a liberal. I'm doing this because a guy who helped write the laws in this country about overage guys trying to get in the pants of underage kids is an overage guy trying to get in the pants of underage kids, and while a lot of spinmeisters want you to think all this makes him a victim, what it really makes him is a jerk. Making snide remarks about jerks is what we do in this country. Anyway, I can't let Wonkette have all the fun. Cocktober Surprise indeed.