This week's Monday morning benediction was inspired by a random hit on a random blog. This being a total stranger who wasn't warned, I wouldn't feel right cutting and pasting, so you're going to have to trust me that it's a good link. Just click through and come back when you're done.
Keeping all the above in mind, here's a poem by Jeffrey Ross, another stranger, but one who's a stand-up comedian. I figure he's probably used to being ripped off by now--just not with full attribution. It's called "Why I Love My Gangsta Bitch Girlfriend":
I knelt on one knee
and took her hand in mine.
I said "I want you to be my lover,
my wife, my bride."
She looked at me and said, "NIGGA PLEASE!"
And then she stabbed me in the face.
And that's why I love my gangsta bitch girlfriend.
Tip your wait staff, everybody...